He really does.

Megatron is a betta (siamese fighting) fish. His interests include: eating, resting on plants, fighting trolls, and patrolling the tank. For trolls.

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This one is not my fault.
Rachel: (watching World of Warcraft, over my shoulder) You should get a pony.
Me: I can't. Ponies are from Stormwind, and they won't sell ponies to a dirty night elf.
Rachel: Night elves are dirty?
Me: Well. They're all in touch with nature and living in the forest and stuff. Like animals.
Rachel: So animals are dirty.
Me: Well no. Some of them lick themselves, right?
Both: ......